5/22/12

Improving Relationships Through Love Languages


Do you know your love language?  If so, I want to know....just take my little unscientific poll at the end of this blog post and let me know what your love language is.  This topic is simply fascinating to me...the idea that our relationships can be improved simply by approaching the people in our lives according to THEIR love language can be a positive change for relationships.

Knowing someone's love language is like tapping into a little secret that helps you connect better and enrich the relationship.  This is true for most relationships...even how you approach your children and friends.  It really helps especially if you are sharing your life together.  It's true...we tend to feel loved and cared for when our spouse approaches us according to our love language.  

I was recently reminded of this when a dear friend and her husband did an assessment to determine their "LOVE LANGUAGE".  What surprised me is that it was the first time my friend realized her love language is Words of Affirmation.  It was already obvious to me that was her love language because my husband and I did the Love Language assessment a few years ago in our church small group.

It really helped to discover my husband is "Acts of Service".  He feels loved when I "DO" little things for him like make him a cup of coffee.  Before the assessment I didn't realize just how much of an impact on our daily life and marriage it has.  Just the simple act of making him a cup of coffee helps him start the day feeling loved and supported.  And if I want him to feel super duper loved, then I'll make some breakfast for him.

How easy is that.

Thankfully he is not a gift person because I do not give nor receive gifts well at all.  My husband has it easy when it comes to Mother's Day, my birthday, Valentine's Day and Christmas.  I am absolutely not offended if he doesn't get me any gifts at all.  In fact, this past Mother's Day I gave him a gift... his favorite kind of cake and I took the kids off his hands for the entire day, so it was opposite day at our house.    

I attribute my "gift deficiency" to growing up poor.  We were so poor that on my sister's birthday...I believe it was her 16th birthday....my mom didn't have money to buy any birthday gifts but she wanted her to have presents to unwrap.  So my mother, bless her heart, went around the house and gathered items we already owned  to wrap up for my sister.  Imagine on your "Sweet 16" birthday unwrapping the family hairbrush or frying pan.  Gift giving is my weak point, but my husband and I try to make a point to give our kids at least one present that they already own at Christmas. 

It is a humbling reminder to appreciate the gifts and blessings that we already have.
My love language is TOUCH and QUALITY TIME.  Then again, Acts of Service must rank pretty high on my list too because my husband looks sexiest on the rare occasion when he cleans the kitchen after dinner.

Here is a link to find out what your own love language is:



and please remember to tell me what your love language is either in a blog post or with this handy dandy submission form. 


Have a great day, xoxo, Sharon


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